173. Secret Agent

Since we're on lockdown because of the pandemic scourging the world, I've started writing a novella to keep me mentally sharp and to deal with my angst for no longer being able to chase and chomp squirrels. This novella is a murder mystery of the noir genre.

Here's chapter one:

Zoe Dog had known Meursault for years. They have had extended correspondence concerning criminal justice issuers and both of them have been Interpol consultants. Of immediate concern to Zoe Dog was the reemergence of the feme fatale only known as Madam X. She was notorious for her brutality, greed and perverse sexual appetites. She was a black market racketeer specializing in precious jewels, guns and toilet paper.

Zoe Dog felt the need to meet with Meursault in person to address the pending calamity, so she boarded an almost empty British Airways flight identifying herself as a service dog without a person to service. She landed in Brussels and then took a connecting Air Algerie flight to Algiers. Zoe Dog and Meursault met at the L'atelier Cafe where he reviewed his intel and suggested a plan of action that was commensurate with Zoe Dog's needs. Stolen diamonds on the wet market would lure Madame X out of seclusion and make her susceptible to apprehension, not in the emotional sense but rather to put her ass in jail sense.

Meursault made the necessary arrangements using his network of spies and informants. Zoe Dog prepared for the inevitable confrontation, knowing that her adversary was both a martial artist and a colo-rectal surgeon. The diamonds were for sale on the dark web in Lisbon, and it was there that Zoe Dog stalked her prey - her most dangerous adversary since Master Lo Chow, the nefarious assassin and pastry chef. The transfer of goods was set for the Fabrica da Nata Cafe, which offered breakfast, lunch, and brunch with very reasonable prices and free coffee. If you ever get the chance to go there, the pastel de nata com tosta mista e sumo de laranja (Custard tart with mixed toast and orange juice) is to die for - no pun intended.

Zoe Dog entered the cafe, took a two chair table, and ordered a café latte. She waited patiently. After an hour or so her adversary entered and sat down across from her. There was great tension in the air in spite of the delicious coffee.

Zoe Dog started the intercourse, er, the discourse. She said with ferocious intent, "What is your real name Madam X?"

Madam X lit up a Gauloises and then smiled demurely. She replied, "I am Titibomb, Kimberly Titibomb. I am here for the diamonds. Do you want to test my mettle, and what is your name?"

"My name is Dog, Zoe Dog, and I have no need for mettle; it upsets my stomach", Zoe Dog replied. "The diamonds were merely a ploy to expose you. My dispute with you is personal, very personal. I am here to insure that you are held accountable for your atrocities. Listen Titibomb, I am here to disremember you, er, that is to say dismember you—that's right —and then—what after that? Isn't dismembering enough or should I use a quern-stone to grind you into flour?"

Titibomb cringed but quickly regained her composure, which was congruent with her aggressive proclivities. Look dog, you can't intimidate me. I'm a black belt karate master. I'm also a double agent, but of course, you already knew that. I traffic in precious gems and arms. Well not human arms but machine guns and the like. Hmm, perhaps trafficking in body parts also might be financially lucrative. Arms, legs, eyeballs, and organs. I'll need to look into that. Anyway, my cover is representing a real estate management company. I'm paid quite well for doing little more than harassing people living in HOA neighborhoods. Now shut the fuck up about me and tell me where the diamonds are."

Zoe Dog, knowing that the throat chomp she learned through her rigorous training with Master Lee Chow in Thailand could kill anyone instantly, said, "I'm beyond the point of caring, so let's get it on bitch."

To be continued ...